Square One

Potty training. It should be a foul word. I'm no longer soliciting advice about it because, I think I'll just go crazy.

We've been through a plethora of tactics, none of which have succeeded. Some have helped, none have completed the job. We started roughly 6 months ago. Two weeks ago we gave up diapers for what I thought was for good. I stayed home 3 days straight to nail down the concept, having her go potty often (not waiting an hour between). She did well as long as I told her to go, otherwise we could expect an accident. This isn't bad for learning, but she hasn't improved for 2 weeks. It is necessary for her to learn to tell us when her body needs to go.

We've about resorted to punishing her, but I don't feel that will do the trick at all. It has to be her will. So, we decided to give her the choice: underwear or diapers? She chose diapers. So here we are again. Square one.

I'd like to let her lead from here on out. No coaxing from me. When she's ready to go potty or wear underwear, she will be the initiator. It will be hard for me to stop reminding her, but it's like kicking a dead door nail; she's not taking it upon herself to learn. I really just hope she will want this by the time she's 4.

Dear, sweet Avery. We really do love her to pieces, just can't stand to potty train her anymore. I just hope putting her back in diapers won't make me just as irritable again for other reasons. :-/ Sorry to vent guys!

Ma-ma

Aspen starting saying ma-ma 3 days ago! It's always a "mah mah mah" when she's fussing and sad, but I love it! She can sit up by herself now, with only occasional tips. She can prop herself up on her arms and tuck her legs under her (not simultaneously). She has begun going to sleep by 8 or 9 (instead of 10 or 11) and only wakes up once (at 2 am)... twice she has slept all through the night. Rock on, little baby! Love this kid to pieces!!!!!! She is such a sweet and happy baby.

Charmer

Avery: Mommy, hurt-a-arm?

Mom: Yeah, mommy has an owie.

Avery: (gently clasping my arm) Kiss-a-better?

Avery is such a sweet girl. She is polite, kind, and affectionate. She is fun and gets excited for things like: friends over, pee in the potty, candy, swimming, Aspen waking up, watching Dora or Elmo. Last night she went to mutual (church) with dad and cute-ed on him the whole time. She was very obedient, kindly asking to play with a ball or hold a drink instead of fussing for it. She even asked to go potty when she needed. That girl is a true charmer; dad was certainly won over.

I took the girls out for a bike ride for the first time this summer and for Aspen's first ever. All went well and I look forward to getting more exercise like this!

Baby Boo

I ran across these recent pictures of Aspen. I've got a lotta love for that baby.

Avery getting Aspen to giggle with splashes!

Defeated

I can't remember the last time I had a day like this, but all I feel is defeated. It's been rough.

Avery locked herself in the car. I allowed her to play with my keys while I talked to a neighbor. Big mistake. I didn't panic until after 5 minutes of coaxing her into pushing the lock button UP not down to no avail. I called Brian a few times with no answer. In panic of a smoldering child inside my car, I called the locksmith. Immediately after, Brian called and told me to look for the spare key while he borrowed a co-worker's car to drive home. I found the key. Called the locksmith not to come. That was scary.

I completely missed my visiting teaching appointment without knowing.

The kids and I drove 45 minutes to Lowe's in the truck. Can you guess what happened? Locked the keys in the car upon arrival! (At least this time no child in the car.) Locksmith came in 25 minutes. $30 fee.

Spent goo-gobs of time in Lowe's returning things and picking up stuff. Thankfully, my kids were champs through it all and Avery did not wet her pants (we visited the potty twice and I nursed Aspen once... this is what takes the extra time and effort). The huge downer was they had no decent closet doors in stock that I came to pick up. I hate spending all the money on gas taking the truck and for no good reason. I wanted to cry. I think I did.

Well, it's still only 3 p.m. and I have a house to clean. Hopefully better luck the rest of the day. These things should cheer me up: Watching Burn Notice tonight with Brian and setting out the large rug I picked up at Lowe's for the living room. I also enjoyed having my two sweet kids beside me in the truck while I drove home (no airbags). Aspen sucking on a carrot, Avery eating a sandwich, and the sky was warm gray with a sweet oncoming rain.

Yum Yum and Yum

Recently I have sooooo been craving sandwiches everyday (I even made them for dinner once, haha!)! It's all about the bread- this sourdough deli stuff that goes on sale occasionally is to die for! I stock up. Yuuuum.

My avoiding-unhealthy-snacky-crap diet is working out so far (if you look away from those chips on that plate. I promise I limited myself.). I had some leftover cookies from a R.S. activity that I gave half away to a neighbor and avoided eating the rest with the mentality "better to waste them than to eat them" (unfortunately my husband felt obliged to take care of them instead. oops.). I had a half-eaten candy bar in the fridge and thought "mm, I need to just finish that off don't I..." With the better half of me screaming "NO bonnie. learn discipline. don't do it," then my body kept getting closer and closer saying "Oh, just try and stop me." I had the thing in my hands, peeling away the wrapper and just before I went over the edge in sheer indulgence, I said, NO. Hurriedly I put it back in the fridge, feeling proud. It takes some discipline but can be conquered.

P.S. A friend invited us swimming and I'm glad I could do this on my own thanks to the safe kiddie pool. I'd been avoiding swimming because how do you do it with 2 young kids? Problem solved. Thanks Elise! Avery had a TON-o-fun! Aspen loved it when Avery splashed her.

Avery took this pic. She can always get Aspen to smile!

Stages

Aspen has approached a new stage. You know, it's to the point where I don't have to nurse her immediately before I leave the house or else. She can last longer and I'm not worried about her starving. I'm glad she also has rice cereal as a back-up and help-meet. This means I'm now comfortable leaving her with a babysitter. I'm still not sure how she'll fare with a different care-giver and with a bottle (need to experiment), but I'm ready to try... yes I'm definitely ready. Brian and I don't date and we need to. (Unless you count night at home after kids are asleep, which is for sure something that keeps you going... but... I want to date.)

Considering how much extra things cost when you factor a babysitter, it almost just doesn't seem fair or worth it. Plus, your mind is half preoccupied with how the kids are doing anyway. Then all you talk about is the kids, which is what you could have been doing at home.

With that said, I have the belief that regardless of this, a date needs to be had. If it becomes more regular, then perhaps you'll feel less burdened when doing it and it's more fun and a great relationship builder for the two of you. In a couple weeks we plan to go swing dancing in town (my idea). I'm totally stoked! This is the FIRST time we're ever getting a real babysitter that you pay. Crazy. It's pretty exciting.