Lately I've been reading the New Testament Institute manual for my personal study. I'm starting to see the apostles' behavior as curious, especially concerning their faith. I don't mean to undermine them in any way, but I want to bring it up for discussion and ponder on why they (and we) might have these weaknesses:
They first show their exceeding faith as common fishermen who drop their nets and immediately follow this man whom they have no evidence of is the real Christ yet. (Matt. 4:19)
However, it seems that they still have a lot of learning to do. When they ask to go bury their dead before taking their journey or say goodbye to their family, the Lord teaches them that they must take their journey with all their heart and not look back. (This is not an account of the 12 I just found out, but other followers of Jesus. Luke 9:57-62)
When the Lord begins to teach in parables to blind the meaning of the truth to those whose hearts are not ready, it is the disciples who continually have to ask the meaning of each parable. (This is the one I most don't understand.)
When the disciples are tossed in the sea, they fear their death and then are dumbfounded when they realize Jesus has power over the seas.
After 2 miracles of the loaves and fishes (one for 5,000 -Matt. 14:14-21- and one for 4,000 -Mark 8:1-9-), they still wince when they realize they've forgotten to bring bread on their journey and fear that the Lord will chasten them, He says "O ye of little faith...how is it that ye do not understand...?" (Matt. 16:5-12) This was another parable he explained to them about the "leaven of the Pharisees."
The disciples, when given the power from Christ, could not heal a man's lunatick son because of their unbelief or lack of faith; they only needed the faith of a mustard seed. (Matt. 17:14-21)
When Jesus asked the disciples who they think he is, Peter says "Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God" (Matt. 16:16). What a testimony! Yet, they never believe that Christ is going to actually die and rise again until it has already happened. Peter denies Christ thrice (How is this? Jesus has even been transfigured before him and done all these miracles before his eyes and Peter has stuck by his side ALL this time and has even been entrusted with the church after Jesus is gone!). Judas betrays also betrays him as we all know.
There are many common people who have had the greatest of faith: The centurion who bade Christ heal his servant who was still at home, The woman with the issue of blood who merely touched his garment, The sinful woman who cleansed the Lord's feet, and many others who had ailments and begged for the Lord's mercy. He always commented on their great faith.
So, "Why," I wonder do the apostles struggle so? I'm sure there is a meaningful reason. It's not clear to me yet, but I know there is. Perhaps, we need to realize that the Lord calls people to do his work that are not perfect. Maybe we need to realize our own faults and struggles and humble ourselves. That's one thing- the apostles were definitely very humble and teachable. They had courage as Peter did trying to walk on water to Jesus. I know they had outstanding strengths and of course I do not mean to dwell on their weaknesses. I'm sure I have ten fold what they do. I look forward to reading more about them and trying to understand where I may be lacking in faith and my testimony of the Savior. I do love reading about his life and teachings. He must have extrordinary love and compassion and patience with all his brothers and sisters.
