Mom's Advice

So after writing that last post, I decided to call my mom about the issue. She said she never really struggled with this problem (even with 8 kids... guess we were angels :) but she still had the most excellent advice that helped me.

She said it doesn't necessarily mean that Avery is jealous (which I agree), but that maybe she is trying to adjust with less one-on-one time and venting by being more disobedient- especially towards Aspen. Basic advice: try to do more things with Avery and involve her with anything I'm doing. I think this seems to get to the heart of the matter (which is hard to recognize sometimes). My mom is right; we've been pushing ourselves to work on the house and I'm trying to do better at meals and cleaning that I'm losing touch with Avery.

My mom admitted that she wasn't great at house cleaning and it got worse with each child, but she was okay with that in order to spend more time with us. I don't like the idea of giving up daily house work (although that'd be nice, right?), but I need to stop badgering myself about it to the point that I can't have fun with my kids and neglect their true needs while trying to multi-task. They are more important than the house work. First things first.

I now have a shout-out to all stay-at-home moms: GO YOU! Being a mom takes TIME and SACRIFICE! I think there's no better way to becoming like Heavenly Father. I can't imagine how some can do both mommy and work and still meet their childrens' needs because it's hard enough just being a mom full time. I'm glad I have the opportunity to be a mother and I'm grateful for this opportunity to learn and grow. It's hard, but I know it's worth it.

Thanks, mom.

*sigh*

I'm having difficulties with Avery. I'm starting to raise my voice at her and borderline yell. Okay, yell. This is not the way I want to handle things, but in the moment, that's the only thing that feels authoritative enough; yet, it still doesn't produce the desired results. In fact, now she's starting to do her own yelling and pointing fingers. I don't like her picking up this habit and I especially think its silly for a mother to yell back at her kids: "No! You do not yell at mommy like that! ... um... only mommy can yell like that.... uh... cause I'm in charge?" That's not really what I call being the bigger person and handling the situation- it usually makes me feel more helpless like I'm giving in to yelling. How do I handle this?

The only reason I ever get after her is when she is being too rough with Aspen, especially after we have repeatedly told her not to head-butt and hit (she thinks its only play). *sigh* I used to think I wasn't for spankings, but now I'm not so sure. I think she needs something quick and that gets the point across (I really don't think "okay you have to the count of 3 to stop abusing your baby sister or we're going to time out" seems right). I just don't want her to start giving spankings to her parents when we've not obeyed her... She wants to copy everything we do.

Easter

One of the many joys of parenthood: Easter egg hunts! Avery LOVED it!! the best part was looking inside. :) We love this kid!

Here is a wonderful poem sent by my sister:

I love the world at Easter time

Because everything is new.

There are blossoms on our fruit trees

And in our garden too.

And where the grass was dead and brown,

It's starting to look green.

The world just seems to come alive

Whenever it is spring.

It makes me think of Jesus

And that great, first Easter Day,

Of how He came to live on earth

To teach us to obey.

He died for us upon the cross

And suffered for our sins.

Then, like the trees and flowers in spring,

He came to life again.

And now when it is springtime,

I'm filled with Jesus' love.

I know He rose again so I

Could live with Him above.

Poop & Gas

Aren't you just itching to read this post? Ha!

Poop: Avery is doing okay with potty training; she's just not ready to take it all the way. After much trial and error, I've decided that incentives and hard-core training just aren't doing the trick. She is mostly happy to sit on the toilet multiple times a day, and though she's only peed and tooted a couple of times, I can tell she is happy about our enthusiasm in each case. I don't feel right about punishing her for going in her pull-ups or what not (besides a disapproval); I'm just happy she likes to sit on the toilet and is making slow progress. One day I believe it will click, but I'm not going to force it. If I could arrange for her to see a peer go potty, then I bet that would help (as Shelly says)... but that seems like an awkward request...

Gas: Well, I'm happy to report that Aspen is doing much better adjusting to life and getting out the gas ever since she hit 3 months. Thankfully, my diet wasn't a big issue. Alleluia! Unfortunately, I think she may have gone straight to teething because she is slobbering and sucking and trying to chew on things like crazy. Poop. Oh well! Her budding personality makes everything worth it.

Good morning, mom...

It's hard-core potty training this week. We're getting off to a good start, don't you think...

I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing... Either way, it was a humerous start to my day. You can't help but laugh and plug your nose; especially seeing a naked Avery looking concerned and saying "no,no." Yes, Avery, getting naked and pooping all over your carpeted floor in the morning is indeed a no-no.

Spring is singing

I've never had a great appreciation for spring and I think it's because I've failed to acknowledge its wonders. It honestly hasn't been until this year that I've paid any attention to a tree coming to life. Within a week, I saw a lifeless brown tree sprout green buds from my bedroom window. Maybe I had gotten so tired of seeing dead twiggy trees that this transformation made spring really sing for me. This morning we were awoken by the singing of the birds and I felt like I must be in heaven. What a refreshing way to start the day! I look forward to cultivating our first garden. I enjoy leaving the doors and windows open to feel the sunshine and breeze. Yes, I'd say spring is singing to me.

I must be butter...

...'cause I'm on a roll! Today was a fun and productive day. Don't you love those? I up and decided to get my hair cut (and surprise Brian) after 2 weeks of pondering over it. Ah! It feels great! I even got it done with 2 children in tow. We also went thrift store shopping for clothes and things. Went to the park. Did some laundry. I made a new dinner today (delicious Swedish meatballs with gravy, potatoes, broccoli, mushrooms and rolls!!).

Oh, and I even cut Avery some bangs... not so proud of that one though! I thought... bangs have got to be the easiest thing; you've gotta be a moron to mess them up, right? I must be a moron! I swore I would NEVER be the mom who got whoopsie with the scissors and cut some frankenstein bangs on their child. Guilty. Poor, poor Avery. It's a good thing she doesn't care one bit, but for me, I feel totally shameful. Ah well, hopefully it grows fast...

More news: I'm going to do some gardening shopping this week so we can get things under way! Brian is going to be gone for FIVE days next week for a work trip to TX for training... I'm totally not looking forward to those 5 evenings. I hope I can keep busy on the garden while he's away. Tomorrow we're going to a work party and I'm making a cheese ball tonight. :) Saturday we get to go to the temple in Albuquerque. Things are going good around here.