Boat without a rudder

This is me.

In the car, Brian and I were discussing some characteristics I have (that some of my siblings also have), and looking at them objectively. (I find this sort of thing helpful and enlightening.)

I am like a boat without a rudder. I am swayed by the winds, shifted by the currents that would most strongly guide me.

I am very impressionable.

Take that for throwing myself out on the line! Now, there are good and bad things to this. First, the good: impressionable means pliable, malleable, trusting, innocent, wide-eyed, gullible. I'm proud to say I carry these traits. Malleable means teachable to me. Wide-eyed reminds me of my enthusiasm and awe (however gullible it may be at times).

And the bad: impressionable means persuadable, naive, and "easily influenced because of lack of critical ability." What does that mean? Critical ability is expressing adverse or disapproving comments or judgments (I definitely lack that ability!). This makes perfect sense.

What can I learn from this? For starters, I know that it is difficult for me to oppose someone's opinion or judgment, especially if they seem to have greater knowledge than me. I am a humble individual and often see others with greater knowledge -or greater whatever- than I have. Sometimes the peacemaker in me will esteem someone to be greater than me just because they have a stronger personality and I wouldn't want to oppose them, so I go with the flow (hence the boat).

This presents a predicament. I need to have more confidence in myself to make my own decisions and know when it's better to trust myself and not rely on someone else's judgment (Lately this has just applied to petty things, but just imagine if it were more). I've been extremely fortunate throughout my life to have great parents, family, peers, friends, and leaders to be that strong current in my life. I truly feed off of them. They have helped me become a good person. I'm also blessed with a very strong husband who is good and true. I often ask myself if I would have still been in this position in my life on my own accord. Were it not for these good and strong influences, where would I be? I'd like to be a little more strong willed (like my husband :)

I've seen what impressionability has done to some of my loved ones. It's not a bad characteristic altogether. Really. But there are dangers to look out for. I've realized that for a person like me, it is of utmost importance to surround myself with GOOD people and influences. Because I've always been blessed with this, I never realized the significance of it. I'm starting to now!